“I had a horrific childhood, and it has left me f***** up. Of all the things in life I want, I want to find love most. I have known some fantastic people, and I am very lucky in that I have four amazing children – I am grateful for that – but there is a hole in my life that can only be filled by love. I have been searching for it all my life, but it looks like I am not very good at finding it.” ~ Jerry Hall
Why is it that some people find themselves in loving and successful partnerships whilst others (even the rich, talented and glamorous) struggle so hard to attract the love they seek? Are some of us really doomed to be unlucky in love, always searching for and never finding the perfect mate? Dr Richard Wiseman conducted a ten-year psychological study of more than a thousand people and his exhaustive research led him to conclude that, ‘People create much of their own good and bad luck through their thoughts, feelings and actions.’ It seems that our beliefs create a self-fulfilling prophecy so that, if you believe that you are lucky in love then you are and if you believe that you are not, then you are not! If you feel that you are in an unlucky cycle right now, ask yourself this question, ‘Are you ready to get lucky in love’?
You attract the type of love that you think you deserve and you will only be truly appreciated, loved and supported when you can appreciate, love and support yourself. I know that this is hard to swallow when you are feeling emotionally bruised and battered by a relationship, but it’s true! Once you can accept that your love relationships reflect the love that you have for yourself you have a fabulous and amazing tool. Self-confidence leads to relationship confidence: it all starts with you. Learn to radiate confidence, self-esteem and self-belief and you will become a love magnet rather than a love rat magnet!
Quick quiz: Are you a love magnet?
Read the following statements.
Score 0 each time you answer True
Score 2 each time you answer Untrue
1 When I fall in love I often experience emotional pain.
2 I sometimes worry that my love partner might be losing interest in
3 I believe that I can change a man if I love him enough.
4 When I am in a relationship I don’t always feel free to be myself.
5 I sometimes fall for the wrong type of man.
6 When a love relationship ends I often feel devastated.
7 I am unlucky in love.
8 I need to be in a relationship to feel complete.
9 I have never set any relationship goals; I just fall in love and see
where it takes me.
10 I often put my partner’s needs before my own.
If you scored 0-6
Your relationship history is poor and you have often felt let down in love. Look at each of your true answers and consider how your thoughts, feelings or behaviour have directly affected the quality of your love life.
You may often feel like a victim of love but don’t worry, you can change all this. As soon as you learn to project positive and assertive energy you will attract healthy love relationships.
If you scored 8-14
You are starting to become a love magnet but there are still times when you attract poor behaviour in your relationships. Think about your untrue answers; these demonstrate that you don’t always lose your sense of self when you are in love. As you develop a stronger sense of who you are and how you expect to be treated it will become easier and easier to get the love you want.
If you scored 16-20
Well done! You are definitely on your way to becoming a love magnet if you are not one already! Once you start to radiate self-belief and self-respect it has an amazing effect on your behaviour: you can trust your gut reactions and express your emotions and make good decisions in the love department. Although you might not be in a great relationship at the moment you are happy with yourself and this gives you the self-confidence which turns you into a love magnet.
Extracted from my book, Weekend Love Coach. ~ available in all retail outlets in paperback and ebook formats and across the internet and at Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk.
Copyright © Lynda Field