You’ve got to be in it to win it
In other words, if you aren’t focused on a goal you can never attain it.
You will never get that great new job if you don’t apply for it.
You won’t get that fabulous relationship if you keep putting up with second-rate men.
You can’t resolve financial problems unless you get it all down on paper and make a good realistic action plan.
You won’t get fit and healthy if you don’t watch what you eat and don’t take enough exercise.
You only create a great social life by getting out there and meeting people.
To make an impact on your life you must take assertive action. Everything changes but unless you direct the change you will never feel confident and in control. If you believe that ‘things keep happening to me’ then you will always feel like a puppet on a string, dancing to someone else’s tune. If you feel victimised in any area of your life at the moment then remind yourself that you are the one who can make things happen for you; you have to be up for those great opportunities or they will pass you by. Get out there and make an impact on your life.
The Do’s and Don’ts of making and impact on your life
Do get noticed. If you are feeling shy then stop concentrating on yourself and direct your attention to others, this works like a dream every time. Confident people might be feeling nervous but they don’t indulge this. Instead they use their adrenaline rushes to push their energy forward in a constructive way. Believe me we all get nervous. If you could only see what goes on behind the scenes before a TV programme is filmed. People do the most bizarre things while they ‘act out’ their nerves. And then, when the camera rolls they look calm, poised and centred. Learn to use your ‘nervous’ energy rushes by thinking of them as power surges and use this power to your advantage.
Don’t ever give up on yourself. When you are down, the very last thing you feel like doing is trying to make any sort of impact: you feel withdrawn and alone with your emotional pain and you just want to hide away. If this is how you are right now then let yourself go with this introverted energy. Rather than believing that you have no self -confidence why not recognise that you are going through a hard time and give yourself some support? We are all so self-critical and as soon as we feel negative about ourselves we are inclined to beat ourselves up about it and get even more negative. Change this approach because it will never work for you. When you find yourself in that negative cycle of defeat make an impact on your day by loving and nurturing yourself. Instead of criticising yourself for being ‘useless’, ‘lacking confidence’ and being ‘untogether’ give yourself a good time. Treat yourself just the way you would treat your dearest friend when she feels low. When it all gets too much for me (yes, even life coaches get the blues!) I fill a hot water bottle and take to my bed and I stay there until the feeling passes. So do whatever it takes to be kind to yourself and you will make such a big impact on your mood.
Do your preparation. To be a success in life you must recognise the direct link between cause and effect. A winning outcome always depends on a well-prepared action plan. Perhaps you are thinking that some people just seem to get all the luck without having done any of the work. Next time you feel like this take a closer look and you are most likely to find that ‘lucky breaks’ usually come to those who have created their own good fortune through work, perseverance and focus. That ‘new’ bestselling author has probably been around for years and has written many other books before she hit the big time. The amazing ‘unknown’ singer who gets a great recording deal has usually spent years and years practising and refining her art. Rewards come to those who put in the effort; you create your own luck with single-minded vision, determination and good preparation. Take a clear look at your dream goal and then start activating it; one step at a time is the way to go.
Don’t be afraid. What’s your excuse for not going for the best? Are you: too old, not clever enough, untalented, too busy, too fat, too tired………etc? Such negative self-beliefs have no meaning. If you want something in life then apply yourself to getting it. If you long to write then go on a creative writing course and find out how the publishing business works. If you would love to play the piano, get some lessons. If you have a great desire to go on the stage, sign up with your local drama group. It’s so easy to go for your goals, you only have to start getting practical. The only thing standing in your way is yourself and all your lame excuses for not getting going. I know it can be daunting to look at a long-term goal; it can seem like an impossible dream, but it is not. All those ‘reasons’ that stop you going forward are only coming from your fear. Take heart, take courage and take this life and run with it. If you feel afraid then feel it and then get over yourself and get going. Don’t ever limit yourself or you will live to regret it.
And if you are still prevaricating and pussy footing around just spare a thought for Helen Keller, who proved that nothing can stand in the way of a person who is totally determined to make an impact.
Born in 1880, Helen contracted an illness before she was 2 years old and she was left unable to see or hear. She never let these disabilities stand in her way; she went on to learn to communicate and to inspire millions of people through her spoken and written words. She travelled all over the world and became a leading public figure who campaigned on behalf of civil rights, human dignity, women’s suffrage, and world peace. Let the following quote from Helen Keller be an inspiration to you.
They took away what should have been my eyes, but I remembered Milton’s Paradise. They took away what should have been my ears, Beethoven came and wiped away my tears. They took away what should have been my tongue, but I had talked to God when I was young. He would not let them take away my soul – possessing that, I still possess the whole.
Copyright © Lynda Field 2015