You have got whatever it takes to make an impact. No need to try to blend in or to copy someone else or to lose yourself in the crowd; just begin to connect with the real and individual you and your life will begin take off. There is no one else like you on the planet: you are totally unique; a one off; an original design. How does this feel? Are you enthused and excited by your exclusivity or are you feeling a little lost and wondering what this might mean for you? Try the following checklist and see how happy you are to embrace your uniqueness.

Exercise: Uniqueness checklist

Answer yes or no to the following questions.

1. Do you think that it is important to fit in?
2. Are you attracted to originality and creativity?
3. Do you ever use the words ‘normal’ or ‘average’ to describe
4. Are you excited by change?
5. Do you ever deny your feelings or opinions to please others?
6. Do the achievements and talents of others daunt you?
7. Is it important for you to keep up with trends?
8. Do you ever feel different from others in some way?
9. If the answer to question 8 is yes, do you ever try to hide this difference?
10. Are you a decisive person?
11. Do you ever criticize yourself for not being ‘as good’ as someone else?
12. You are an exception. Do you believe this?
13. Do you often wish that you looked like someone else?
14. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
15. If you are told that a rule applies to everyone and that there are no exceptions, do you acquiesce?
16. Do you feel inspired by other peoples’ successes?
17. If a friend buys a gorgeous designer item do you need to go out and buy something too?
18. Are you influenced by celebrity culture?
19. Would you describe yourself as your own person?
20. Do you relish new experiences?

Consider your answers and what they reveal about you. People who celebrate their uniqueness are more relaxed and confident that those who are forever trying to fit in.
There really is no such thing as the ‘norm’ or the ‘average’. We have created such concepts in an attempt to categorize and structure our lives in some way but it is important to remember that standards and comparisons are nor real measurements. There is no ‘right’ way of doing things, there is no ‘normal’ type or size of person (or bum!), and if you follow the herd you will never make an impact. People who stand out are those who dare to risk the censure of others; they are innovators and they shatter glass ceilings. When you dare to be different you challenge the status quo and you will inevitably infuriate someone or other. But unless you are prepared to give up on people pleasing activities you will stay stuck in the rut of sameness.
It is impossible to recognise and appreciate your own intrinsic qualities if you are trying to be like someone else or you are afraid to rock the boat. But once you step forward and begin to celebrate your differences you will relax, let go and really start to be yourself. Have the confidence to make your own decisions. Know your own values and stand by them. Follow your instincts and your creative urges and fulfil that incredible blueprint which is your alone. You’ve got whatever it takes, so use it!

Coaching and confidence boosting at http://www.lyndafield.com

Copyright © Lynda Field 2015

Adapted from my latest book, The Self-Esteem Coach.


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