Love addiction: Are you at risk?
Are you in love with being in love? I think it’s fair to say that we all want love in our lives; most of us would like a powerful, sexy and enduring romance with a wonderful man. But sometimes our desire to be in love can turn us into ‘love junkies’. The important thing to remember is that lust is blind. In those first heady days as your PEA levels shoot through the ceiling your love choices, decisions and judgements are suspect: you are not your usual self and might not be for a few months. But even as time passes and the love drug becomes less effective, you might still be hooked in a slightly different way; you could now be in the next stage of the relationship only to discover that you have been obsessing about a totally unsuitable man. Sounds crazy? Well actually it’s very common; we have all been there at one time or another. Most of us have made relationship mistakes and women do so love to try to change a challenging man. It can be hard for us to accept that our love object is not who we thought he was or who we want him to be and sometimes we will spend years trying to alter him; this is another form of love addiction.
Try the risk assessment below to check whether you have ever shown any of the symptoms.
Love addiction risk assessment
• You have been ‘head over heels’ and high on love.
• You moved on to the next affair as soon as the fireworks stopped and you have repeated this pattern a number of times.
• He withdrew his attention and you chased after him (continually contacting him and trying to make things right).
• You compromised yourself sexually to please him.
• You stopped going out with friends and stayed in waiting for him to call.
• You turned a blind eye to his shortcomings and excused his bad behaviour.
• He abused you physically, mentally or emotionally and you stayed in the relationship.
• There was an empty space inside you that you believed only he could fill.
• You continually wondered about what he thought of you.
• He was critical.
• You were low in self-confidence.
• You were always trying to please him.
• He was emotionally withdrawn.
Perhaps you are feeling addicted to love right now. If so, don’t despair, it is not a fatal condition! In fact as soon as you get wise to the way you get hooked on certain men, you learn something very important about yourself and your behaviour in relationships. This information leads to increased self-awareness and self-confidence as you change your negative patterns and begin to magnetize the love you deserve.
Coaching and confidence boosting at http://www.lyndafield.com
Copyright © Lynda Field 2015
Adapted from my book, Weekend Love Coach