‘Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.’ Goethe

What do you think is the difference between those who are (or who act as) losers and those who are winners? It has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with attitude and approach. It’s not what you do that counts but rather how you do it. Confident people communicate differently and this is their defining feature. Go out and listen for victims. Notice the tone of voice as well as the actual words used – can you hear that ‘poor me’ whine? Now listen for non-victims – what differences can you hear? You can learn the techniques it takes to become assertive; anyone can become skilled at communicating if they are prepared to practise.

8 Ways to be More Assertive

1. Try to be less judgemental. Withhold criticism and look for positive things to praise; people really respond to this approach.

2. Be prepared to take risks (no need to take up a dangerous sport, just be ready to make changes).

3. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Open and honest communication is a confident style that gets good results.

4. Accept criticism calmly. Perhaps she has a point? If not, then say what you feel, but rationally and not in the heat of anger (this carries much more authority).

5. Keep things in perspective. This will help you to feel more laid back and sends out confident signals to others.

6. Be ready to say ‘no’ when you need to. You might need to practise this!

7. Simply smile! And immediately you appear confident and in control and you will feel it too.

8. Stop talking and start listening. Everyone responds well to this sort of attention.

Winners and losers communicate differently and this is their defining feature.

Copyright © Lynda Field 2015

Coaching and Confidence Boosting at http://www.lyndafield.com


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